Eddie From Ohio

Workin' on the C & O Rail
Drivin' them spikes in the ground
Big men can bury with a single blow
Me, it takes me fifty pounds
Forty if I try a little harder
Today it takes me fifty pounds

Fifty pounds - fifty pounds
Sure do like the way that sounds
Forty if I try a little harder
Today it takes me fifty pounds

I'm hummin on the streets of London
Had this catchy tune comin' round
Saw a guit-box in the window
It only cost fifty pounds
Probably get it cheaper in Chicago
But here, it costs fifty pounds

Fifty pounds - fifty pounds
Sure do like the way that sounds
Probably get it cheaper in Chicago
Here, it costs fifty pounds

My little boy wanna work the railroad
And take my guit-box that he just found
I say "Wait til you get a little older
You only weigh fifty pounds
You can't expect to be a hammer holder
When you only weigh fifty pounds."

Fifty pounds - fifty pounds
He don't like the way that sounds
Wait til you get a little older
You only weigh fifty pounds

I'd be lost in most of Europe
They got the Euros and the Kilos
there instead of pounds
But not in Windsor, Bath & Dover
They got their economic tongue
And their multi-use for pound
They're beamin' with homonymic pride
And they drive on the left-hand side

Homonym phobe, oh, homonym phobe
A punless world would get real old
Fifty pounds, you hit, weigh or stole
Talkin' bout them fifty pounds

Toby was a midget boxer
He could go fifteen rounds
Champ of the United Kingdom
He only makes fifty pounds
His head could take fifty pounds
He only weighs fifty pounds

Fifty pounds - fifty pounds
Sure do like the way that sounds
There are ups and there are downs
But there sure ain't no out-of-bounds
Just havin' fun with triplet nouns
I'm talkin' 'bout them fifty pounds

(Clem, J Fish Music/ASCAP)

2004